Remembering Emily Murillo: From a Sibling’s Point of View

This has led me to look to my parents' peers and my family for support, understanding how it often leaves me feeling invisible when I am only met with the acknowledgement of my parents' grief. I have lost count of how many people have told me since the day my sister died to “take care of your parents” and have asked me “How are your parents doing?” without a mention of me and what I am going through. While I understand the intent behind these comments, it has caused me to struggle a lot with the feeling of being invisible in my grief throughout this year. It has caused me to feel as though my grief is not as important as my parents. The siblings also suffer this tremendous loss and deserve to have this loss acknowledged, as well.

This year has simultaneously flown by and felt like an eternity. In the year following my sister’s death, I have learned a lot about life, death, and grief. I have an entirely different outlook on life and my purpose since my sister has passed. I feel that I have become a better person, a more caring friend, and a better daughter. I used to think that grief is just a feeling of sadness that gets better with time, but I now understand how all-consuming grief is. People suffering the same loss will grieve in entirely different ways. There is no timeline or “right” way to grieve. Grief is the love you have for that person with nowhere to go, and just like you would love them for a lifetime, you will grieve them for a lifetime.

I have learned to accept and love myself for who I am. I’ve learned to allow myself to feel my emotions freely in order to work through them. I’ve learned to be myself unapologetically, like Emily always was. I’ve learned that I’m always going to be at least a little bit sad after losing my baby sister, and that that’s okay because it’s a reminder of how much she truly meant to me. I am eternally grateful to have been loved by Emily, as anyone who knew her can attest. I am who I am for having known and loved Emily, losing her has touched every aspect of my life. I miss and love you so much, Emily.